Thursday, June 23, 2016

a tap on the shoulder

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Kira-kira 3 bulan lagi, sebelum memasuki final year.

Final year yang medical student sangat takut dan ditakutkan. Pensyarah selalu pesan, bila dah tahun akhir, kamu tak boleh berlagak sebagai budak mentah lagi. Kena bersikap seperti seorang doktor yang sebenar.


Bertanggungjawab terhadap pesakit,

Ambil tahu apa yang berlaku, follow progress patient properly.

Ambil history dah tak boleh compang-camping macam dulu.

Present case, examine, examine, and examine patients.


Mengenali karakter final year student bukan benda asing sebenarnya. Sudah dua tahun berturut-turut menjadi naqibah untuk final year. Boleh dikatakan, mereka ni ibarat chipsmore. Kejap ada, kejap tak ada. Tapi yang takda tu lebih kerap. 


Asyik oncall, outstation, banyak task etc.


Usrah pun kalau boleh biar simple and concise. Kadang-kadang ambil masa lunch hour saja, tu pun dah cukup bagus. Kemudian, dah namanya final year, bab study mereka power. First time pegang mereka, waktu tu saya baru 3rd year. Budak 3rd year ni, bab belajar tak payah cakap, memang cengeng sikit. Kena marah sikit, nangis. Lepas tu tak pandai macam mana nak study. Blurr memanjang.

Jadi dalam usrah, kadang-kadang kita curahat bab study, mereka yang pujuk. huhu. Apa punya naqibah.


But then we learn to give and take,


Saya share pada mereka tentang islam, mereka juga ajar saya tentang islam, ditambah dengan macam mana nak survive in and out dalam klinikal.

Walaupun susah nak kumpul dan sebagainya, group yang ni special. Sebab dalam group ni eventhough kena jadi naqibah, tapi saya ada banyak kakak. I dont want to be kakak, I need kakak. hu. 


Perhatian. 






Simply said, sebenarnya ada masa kita inginkan perhatian dan and someone who is ready to listen attentively. 


.......................................

Di dalam kelas bersama anak-anak Rohingya tempoh hari, ada masa saya rasa macam nak give up mengajar. Terlalu bising dan nakal tak reti duduk diam. Waktu sesi mengajar doa-doa harian, kami pecahkan mereka dalam group seramai kira-kira 7-8 orang. Tapi budak-budak ni tak mahu bekerjasama dan banyak main. Belum cerita part nak leraikan mereka yang gaduh dan saling pukul memukul lagi. Akhirnya bila dah penat saya duduk dan diam sekejap.

Waktu tengah frust itulah salah sorang budak yang nakal tadi tu datang duduk sebelah, 


"kakak, dengar saya baca doa ni."


Kemudian dia suruh saya ajar mana yang dia tak tahu. Sampai habis. Bila dah selesai, datang budak yang lain pula, buat benda yang sama. Akhirnya boleh pun mengajar mereka, cuma kena pergi one by one.

Waktu sesi mewarna pula, bila disuruh ada yang malas-malas. Tapi bila kita duduk sebelah, tolong pilih warna, tolong kalerkan sikit-sikit, terus laju je dan bersemangat nak buat.

Then baru terfikir, sebenarnya mereka ni bukanlah rebellious sangat. Sekadar mahukan sokongan dan perhatian. They need a tap on their shoulder to keep them going. 







**tepuk bahu sendiri**

Kalau pun dah tiada manusia, Allah ada. He is the most attentive listener. Kadang-kadang kita minta sesuatu dengan sangat pada Allah. And when He grant it, we can feel how Allah give us the 'tap on the shoulder'. 


Happy.

Keep going, keep going, I already give you this. And remember Me. I will give you more.


But then we forget until He stop giving.
Supaya kita kembali semula pada Dia, sebab Dia sayang.


Adakalanya pula, Dia beri apa yang kita minta, tapi tak perfect.
Supaya kita ingat, bahawa semua selain Dia tidak sempurna.
Agar kita tidak memuja makhluk, benda dan dunia.


Thus jangan jadi budak-budak, yang akan tunjuk 'tantrums' bila tak dapat apa yang diinginkan. Lagi banyak kita redha, lebih kurang sesak di dada.


**I'm saying this to myself, sigh**

:'




“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” 
(Narrated by Muslim, 2999).









Thursday, June 9, 2016

pacing forward - IKRAM SISWA

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

It has been quite some time, I've been thinking to write about this. This might be not understandable for some of you, but just give me a chance anyway my dear akhawats <3 

Hope everyone are doing well, at our own place and pacing forward.

Why am I using the word 'pace', not 'running' or meroket whatsoever ^^', is because i thought this is the safest baseline for everybody. 

Thus i meant it for all of us, no matter what our story is. 

Pacing is a small step, but a consistent one. I know that most of us are not consistently running, and almost no human are able to keep running until the end of their life. 'Al Iman yazid wa yanquz' apply to everybody even for the sahabah r.a.

But we should be stepping forward, no matter how slow we are. InsyaAllah.





A few days ago we had our syura for Ikram Siswa. Maybe I never said this to many people, but actually I felt relieved when finally someone else would be chosen as the amirah for our team, the ship that we had rode for so long. 

Some might just know me for these 2 years in ppukm, but for some of you, had known and bear with me for a longer duration. The usual cycle for a leader is 1 year at most. If you hold for too long, you'll be like me., kind of hopeless. hu. There is hikmah in changing leaders, which is to get the new spirit of working, insyaAllah. 

Few years back,

At first, it is very difficult for us to find the track to pace on. So do I. After touched down from Bandung, there are too many things. You need to do this, to do that, to start, to convince, while myself are not yet convinced at that time. Sometimes really I got very tired but you know that you can't stop. Seeing many people started to take a 'break' and vacation made me crazy some more. huhu. 

Just kidding :)

For my dear akhawats UKM or UNPAD based, really I want to get the chance to explain more about our ship, IKRAM siswa. Just to let everyone to know that, for the time being we need it no matter how 'renyah' it is. For us who had been in the usrah for a long time, this is a platform that we can rely when we want to do something. And this platform should be connected with the manhaj that has built, and empowered us. 

Some people would say that, why can't we just do it? Nak buat program, buat je lah. Tak perlu merenyahkan diri dengan persatuan. Tak nak buang waktu dengan benda yang 'tidak muntij'. We think so.

For this, the answer is simple. Kerana kita tak mahu buat Dnt ni sendiri2. Kita tak mahu cuma orang yang ikut usrah je yang dapat buat baik. Jika nak usrah dan tarbiyyah diri sampai lebam sekalipun, silakan. Namun mata harus terbuka dan melihat masyarakat as we are living in this. 

We need to create a platform for the people surrounding us, including our mad'u. Kerja dalam dnt ni bukan terhad pada mesti jadi murobbi, we'll have to widen the jobscope in order to let other peoples join us.

And realize or not, the community need an icon, or a bunch of people to trust on, including us. 





And this is what people should see when they view a group of good people doing da'wah. People who are not merely ajak masuk usrah, but also to deliver islam and encourage people to do good even when they are not committed to jemaah.

What am I explaining is very superficial, but i hope everyone could try to blend it. hu


Then comes the story of responsibilities in every one of us.

What I could say is that, no matter in what position you are being placed in tarbiyyah, there is no levels in Allah's view.  

As a supporter, ajak mengajak
tukang bancuh air,
usrah member,
naqibah,
members of unit,
ketua unit,
leader.

Always belief also that if we are not doing our part, nobodies would. 

Allah will grant us, insyaAllah. 

Lastly, 

i'm thanking everyone to the fullest. 

For bearing with me, not hating me all this while especially to Afiqah, the best company <3, and to everyone who have done their best in syuro. Forgive me if I had talked too much, banyak berselisih pendapat dan sebagainya.hu. Semoga kita ikhlas kerana Allah.

May He forgive and grant each one of us, and keep us on the way to jannah.



p/s:
I've rarely post a picture, 
But here are some, untuk kenangan :)




iOs 16



Pernais 16




** Video pengenalan ISBTR:




Thursday, June 2, 2016

Your salient features.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


There is one super senior in our faculty whom I always look up to. Despite of him having a hearing defect due to an accident, he climbed up to reach many superb achievements. 

In the very young age, he opened a hospital in a poor country, aiming to provide medical facilities to the poorest. Even went from door to door to reach patients whom initially can't afford any medical treatment. He go beyond what ordinary people would do, and beyond an ordinary doctor would do. 

Then he met someone, and recently got married :)  A few days after his wedding he post a picture of them in Cambodia visiting poor patients with a status referring to his wife,



" It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly there right in front of you is everything you ever need. "







From this I learnt something simple yet meaningful.

Let say this is a story of a girl, a doctor to be. Might be you.

:')

Since she enrolled in medicines and many other responsibilities, she's very afraid of relationships. And this feelings become bigger as she climbed higher. Because she know that the road is difficult with many hurdles. Which sometimes she even barely survived. 

Along the way, people around her also got wounded. The parents are missing their daughter for so long but still they let her go. Since the past seven years, she barely able to visit home more than once in two or three months. 

And she lose many bestfriends too. Those old close friends sometimes tried hard to reach her but kept on failing. She loses them one by one and rarely find a new one. 

Thus to drag another person to be on her side, going through this gloomy road has been the end in mind for so long. 

...............................................


But as she hesitate, people said that this is such a waste of time. 

She can only smiled, while bleeding in the inside :)

Really, sometimes we forgot that human paths are different, thus our conditions differ accordingly. Knowing the limitations, there are times when people give up on certain things to persevere on reaching a bigger thing, with Allah's will.

The path  might not look very 'ideal', but as a muslim we do the best in our part. And keep on tawakkal. 

The wonderful thing that could happen maybe not merely to meet someone just to consider and keep on doubting, but it is when you are finally convinced,


despite all those worries,

You need this particular person <3

The special person who choose you not because the typical things that matter to most people, but because they recognize the salient features of you, and sincerely stay.

:)




P/s : Yesterday we had our psychiatry OSCE exams. I went to the exam place in a labile mood actually, almost in tear after fall asleep and almost being absent in the exam sessions. This thing never happen thus I felt so confused. 

Despite of feeling numb and  having a temporary amnesia before entering the skill lab, Alhamdulillah, He let me through, with ease. 

:')






3rd trimester.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Its very difficult to update blog nowadays. Hu. Last time when I updated, I was in my first trimester of my pr...