Saturday, December 31, 2016

Fireworks

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

I opened my old jurnal, and found a note written by one of them before I came back to Malaysia.

Whom one time ago being the kid, the adik-adik. ;)




"Kakak! I love your personality. Your innershine was potrayed outside. 
May Allah guide you through His path."



I thought this sound so innocent from an innocent soul of her. Because her thought was so kind <3

She saw good in people and expressed good things. That's lovely.

Unfortunately, I'm not a darling like what she thought. 

~~~~




When I entered peadiatrics in my final year, I'm partially dead inside. Being hardworking, dedicated, and at the same time keeping your sanity was extremely difficult. I know that slowly and proggressively, I'm losing myself.

You even forgot how to smile.

You expressed too much of negative emotions.

I wondered why I can't be good. Maybe because I lose those so called 'innershine'. You can't be such a darling if you lose it. 

Sometimes i thought, when other people can be cruel and selfish, why I should'nt be one?  
Simply said, that is how pressure overrule ourselves. 

Have you ever heard and read Fireworks lyrics in the code blue drama series? 

:)





"I wonder how much value there is throughout this world i'm living,
Everything feels meaningless,
Maybe i'm just a little worn out."


You see, you are just worn out. But not yet dead.


"Putting what I have obtained on one hand,
I see the radiance of several thing I cast away on the other.
It isn't such a peaceful world,
That I can grieve over every single one."


And you can't have everything. Stop grieving for what you lose. Look at what you gained on the other hand.

Sometimes sadness overwhelmed us because we want so much of things.. And we think that we should gained everything at one particular time. 

So little we know, that Allah know us better.

:')








Thursday, November 24, 2016

Grow bigger inside.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Second day in HTI, I've planted a cockscomb flower seeds in a pot. 

Pokok yang sama sy pernah tanam waktu sekolah rendah dulu, namun kali ni dari spesis yang berbeza. Yang dulunya dari spesis celosia cristata. 



celosia cristata

And the one that I've planted here is of other species, celosia plumosa.


celosia plumosa

C.Plumosa lebih renek dan kecil.. Tak terlalu tinggi dan semenarik C.Cristata yang bunganya lembut seperti baldu. Sama, tapi berbeza. Its like C.Plumosa being the humble version of cockscomb :)  Selalu ada di tepi-tepi jalan di mana kebanyakan orang tak perasan, tapi bila tak ada pemandangan jadi kurang menarik.

Kelebihan C.Plumosa, ialah dari segi kestabilan dan tahan lama pokoknya. Sebab dia rendah dan renek. Dulu sewaktu sy menanam C. Cristata, batangnya akan naik tinggi dan di pucuk-pucuknya inilah bunga-bunga yang cantik akan muncul. Namun bila bunganya makin besar dan banyak, C.Cristata mudah tumbang. 

Hujan lebat sikit pun boleh tumbang.

Sedih. Begitulah setiap kejadian ada lebih dan kurangnya.


...................................................................

And this is the one I've planted recently. Baru nak bercambah :)


Day 4

They grow quite slowly. Bit by bit.

Macam tuannya juga, lambat segala serbi. hu

Kadang-kadang boleh lama menatap pokok ni, memujuk hati. 

You might be slow, but you shall grow.

Hari pertama di HTI, ketua jururawat (sister) yang berbangsa India menitip pesan sewaktu orientasi ward.



"If you are making mistakes, doing something wrong by accident or anything, please let me know. If you are hiding it, I am totally fine. But surely God will pay you afterwards."

..........................................

A non muslim is talking about God, how about us..?

T.T

Sama seperti orang yang kita sakiti, sama ada patients, colleagues, patient's family members, cleaner. Mereka yang berhati baik tidak membalas, namun ianya tidak menghapuskan salah silap kita. Don't be so 'kiasu' (selfish), because its hurts. Don't force patients, don't steal other people opportunities, and don't bully just because you can. 

Its very often we need to try harder to create our own opportunities. 

We might be at the downside, but our hard works shall be paid off. 


Keep it low,
but grow bigger inside.

Macam C.Pulmosa ibaratnya. Cantik dan kukuh.

Like those precious kind heart. 








Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Love yourself.

Hari ini ialah hari asyura. 

ada sejarah-sejarah yang besar di sebaliknya.

This post is very random. Mungkin tak ada kaitan dengan hari asyura. But I just want to write something. hu.

Bila teringat akan kisah2 nabi dan sahabat, bayangan tu selalu hadir dengan kesedihan. Somehow, aku membayangkan bahawa kehidupan mereka diselimuti dengan peristiwa-peristiwa yang perit, hari-hari yang sukar, memaksa diri untuk memiliki hati-hati yang tabah.

Betapa istimewanya mereka, kerana kekuatan yang mereka miliki.

Aku sentiasa kagum dengan Yusuf a.s, kerana sifat dirinya yang tidak berdendam dan mudah memaafkan. 

Dirinya dibuli, dihumban ke dalam perigi, dibenci saudara-saudaranya kerana dengki namun baginda a.s tidak berdendam. Yusuf a.s malah dimasukkan ke dalam penjara bertahun lamanya. Setelah akhirnya saudara2 yang menganiaya Yusuf a.s mengakui kesalahan-kesalahannya, baginda menjawab,


“Pada hari ini tidak ada cercaan terhadap kamu, mudah-mudahan Allah mengampunkan (kamu) dan Dia adalah Maha Penyayang di antara para penyayang.” (Yusuf:92)


**nangis**





Betapa jauhnya kita dari kesempurnaan seorang nabi.

Begitu juga Yaakub a.s. Baginda terlalu sedih dan merindui Yusuf a.s sehingga matanya menjadi buta. Namun Yaakub a.s tidak memberontak dan berputus asa.


“Dan Yaakub berpaling daripada mereka (anak-anaknya) seraya berkata: “Aduhai dukacitanya aku terhadap Yusuf” dan kedua-dua matanya menjadi putih kerana kesedihan dan dia diam menahan amarah (terhadap anak-anaknya)” (Yusuf : 84)

“Sesungguhnya hanyalah kepada Allah aku mengadukan kesusahan dan kesedihanku..” (Yusuf: 86)



Teringat pesan naqibah satu masa dulu,

Masalah kita ni, tak seberat apa yang dilalui para nabi. Namun mereka yang juga manusia seperti kita tetap boleh survive, kerana setiap masalah yang mereka hadapi dihalakan kepada Allah.

Jika di dunia ini wujud insan yang memahami dan menjadi pendorong semangat, bersyukurlah. Namun jika tidak wujud seorang yang begitupun, janganlah lupa kita ada Allah.

Dia yang paling dekat dan tahu.

Setiap malam apabila mata ini tak boleh lelap, aku memikirkan apa sebenarnya punca ketidaktenteraman perasaan ini. Takutkah, risau, penat, penyesalan, rindu, benci atau apa. Kadang-kadang secara sedar kita rasa sudah berjaya menyelesaikan, namun hakikatnya masalah-masalah tu masih wujud, berlegar-legar dalam minda separa sedar.


Dia tak muncul dengan rupa masalah tu, tapi datang dalam berbagai bentuk. Badan kita menanggung sesuatu yang susah difahami puncanya.

Sakit kepala,

Insomnia,

Tak lalu makan, demam, sakit belakang

Etc.

Bermula dengan menzalimi diri sendiri, lama-lama kita mula menzalimi orang lain yang dekat, sayang dan memerlukan kita. Mungkin kita tak perasan, namun hakikatnya perlahan-lahan kita makin menjauhkan diri.


Perasaan inferior dan bebanan ni ibarat duri pada tubuh seekor landak.. Semakin banyaknya ia, semakin banyak duri yang wujud hingga sampai masa kita tak mahu orang mendekat sebab takut akan melukakan orang lain. 

hu.

** Tak tahu nak kata apa lagi dah **


Mungkin kita yang belum cukup sayang pada diri sendiri.






Worrying too much about everyone, everything. Jaga hati semua orang tapi biarkan hati sendiri terluka. Seorang nabi boleh melakukan ni, but you have to upgrade yourself first to be able to do this. 


Belajar memaafkan dengan sebenar-benar maaf.

Mengutamakan hak Allah sebelum apa-apa yang lain,

Mengawal perasaan di saat yang paling sulit.

Redha, bersangka baik pada Allah.

Belajar meluahkan pada orang yang tepat, dengan cara dan niat yang baik.

And learn to let go things, when it started to take out the peace of our mind.










Monday, October 3, 2016

Hati-hati

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


Hari ni terjaga sebelum subuh dengan kepala yang sakit.. Sebenarnya sakit terasa dari sebelum jaga lagi. Dari dalam mimpi..hu. Sebab takut tak mampu nak bangun subuh nanti, makan ubat dulu sebiji. Dengan harapan akan berkurang sementara nak subuh, insyaAllah.

Dah lama juga sebenarnya tak dapat TTH ni (tension-type of headache). Dull pain, tightness, pressure on the forehead, kadang-kadang hingga ke belakang kepala. Kali terakhir kena ialah di penghujung Ramadhan yang lalu, sakitnya hingga tak mampu bangun apatah lagi berterawikh. 

Tak tahu puncanya, tapi mungkin kerana peristiwa semalam sewaktu membantu Murni pindah. Hampir-hampir kemalangan lagi. Lambat beberapa saat rasanya hancur bahagian depan kereta. 

T__T

Banyak kali sy istighfar.. Selepas 2 minggu tak memandu, kenapalah permulaannya mesti macam ni.. Namun alhamdulillah, semuanya selamat dan urusan perpindahan Murni + Uwais juga telah selesai. 

Despite being traumatized, still I have no regret. 






Memandu ni taklah susah mana sebenarnya. Tapi bagi orang yang selalu ditimpa benda-benda tak elok macam ni, ianya jadi susah. Makin lama makin susah.. Sampaikan tiap kali sy nak drive jauh sikit, akan istighfar dan doa banyak-banyak takut kalau apa-apa jadi tak sempat bertaubat.. hu.

.............

Kemalangan ialah satu isu, tapi belum lagi isu menghadap penjahat di jalan raya. Kena buli, diekori dan sebagainya tu adalah juga 2-3 kali terutamanya bila memandu seorang diri. Bila sy cerita tentang pembuli jalanan ni ramai yang susah nak percaya, tapi ianya berlaku. Ada je jenis manusia yang suka menyusahkan, menakut-nakutkan orang lain di jalan raya. Ada juga kawan yang cermin keretanya dipecah, beg diragut dan sebagainya. 

Senang cerita, kalau dulu nak drive seorang diri selepas jam 10 malam tu tak ada masalah, namun sekarang fikir berkali-kali. This is Malaysia, terutamanya KL. Dengan parking di KL yang kucar kacir, tak tahu nak salahkan siapa bila kereta tiba-tiba calar, lampu pecah dan kemik sana sini. This is how the environment cause us to be gripped by fear, and thrown into unrest. 

Living here tought me to be independent in handling hurdles, and to overcome every fear by yourself. 

Takut macam mana pun, kena fikir waras-waras. 

Sebabnya, manusia di sekeliling masing-masing sibuk dan punya masalah sendiri hingga untuk membantu orang lain tu, ia tidak datang dengan 'natural'. Dulu waktu enjin kereta berasap dan tangan sy melecur disebabkan air enjin tu, ramai sangat orang kat sekitar kereta, tapi semua pandang je. hu. 

Nanges.

........................


Rasa kerdil, kita ni berbanding Dia yang memegang segala takdir. Mengajar kita untuk lebih berhati-hati dan banyak bertawakkal padaNya.

Niat yang baik saja tak cukup, kena tetap hati-hati

And being careful is not enough, be extra careful. 

Biidznillah.












Wednesday, September 7, 2016

a step back

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

These few days many people wrote and talked about Safiey Ilias, who has decided to take a few step backs in his 'hijrah'. Before this, people talked about Uqasha Senrose as well when she decided to remove her hijab. 

Here is me, the silent reader and follower.

Somehow, I like to read about the story of public figure who has decided to be a better muslim and make changes like Safiey Ilias.



Felixia Yeap,

Mizz Nina,

Wardina,

Fynn Jamal etc.








And because they are someone known, a little changes create some waves. Compliments as well as criticisms. 

May Allah bless them. They may not realized it, but what they did was greater than a personnel hijrah. In many ways, they made us to reflects ourselves, to what extent we the so called devoted muslims have upgrading ourselves to become a better muslim.

They had undergone many hurdles and difficulties, for sure.

And as a muslim we should surely help, but maybe most of us did not able to do their best in the helping part, yet. Some might has worsen the conditions. 

I tried to imagine, if he the best of mankind is still with us, our prophet Rasulullah s.a.w. I wonder, how would he react. The man with the perfect akhlak and qudwah. In surah al-mumtahanah, there was a story about Hatib Ibn Abu Baltaah r.a who has betrayed the people of muslimin and Rasulullah s.a.w before the event of Fathul Makkah. 


At that moment when he was cought, the sahabah's were very angry and even Umar r.a has offered himself to kill him. 


" Ya Rasulullah, allow me to chop off the head of this hypocrite ! "



But what did the prophet, our qudwah hasanah did was beyond ordinary. He met Hatib, and asked him,

"O Hatib ! What is this..?"



Hatib replied,


" Ya Rasulullah! Do not make a hasty decision about me. I was a person not belonging to Quraysh, but I was an ally to them. All the Emigrants who were with you have kinsmen (in Makkah) who can protect their families. So I wanted to do them a favor, so they might protect my relatives, as I have no blood relation with them. 

I did not do this out of disbelief or to renegade from my religion, nor did I do it to choose disbelief after Islam."




The prophet then said to the sahabah,


"Regarding him, he has told you the truth."

"This man has participated in the Battle of Badr: You may not know, O `Umar, Allah may have looked favorably at the people of Badr and said: "Do as you please, I have forgiven you. " 


(The Group with the exception of Ibn Majah, collected this Hadith using various chains of narration)



Hearing this, Umar r.a wept and said,


"Allah and His Messenger have the best knowledge. "




I guess we are so so far away from this..
And yet still have not realized the damages we have done.

:'(


sources :
http://www.englishtafsir.com/quran/60/index.html
http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1540&Itemid=116

Friday, August 19, 2016

Indecisive

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

These few weeks I had been busy since I am working to finish my undergraduate research. 

I know that I'm being quite meticulous with the study, because I'm interested.

It's a retrospective study, about cornea transplant that they had done in UKMMC. Cornea transplant is not rare to be done nowadays. Thus in the future if anyone want to know about this, I would be very glad to share insyaAllah.

To be able to see, is precious. Everyone knows that.

:')




<3



Nowadays since we are in final year, many of us talked about postgraduate plan.

Where to go for housemanship,

Where to stay for MOship,

Going into specialty or not,

etc.

And I am still indecisive, because it was not easy.

Apabila ditanya pada yang lebih tua, setakat ni semuanya mempunyai pandangan yang sama, a definite answer.


"Become a specialist, of course."

"Takkan nak jadi dokter biasa je."

"Nanti kerja kat hospital sekian2."


From there I already know what should I do. Which is to stop asking for an opinion.

Kadang-kadang kita sesama manusia kurang bersikap memahami sebelum memberi pandangan. We simply give an 'ideal' answer without thinking about the person. 


Did you know, 


Dunia ni luas, tapi yang menyempitkan tu ialah kita.













Monday, August 1, 2016

Grateful

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

A few days ago I went to a photo shop, to get some of the digital pictures printed. About 40+ pictures from various memories, that I thought were significant and precious. 

Some of raya’s pictures, pictures with usrahmates, batchmates in Bandung and in PPUKM, engagement day, hiking in Broga, with akhawats in Ikram Siswa, and also some of unique pictures of Fatim’s, my nephew. One day when Fatim has grow up, I want to show him how adorable he was when he once a toddler <3






Sudah berapa tahun lamanya tidak mencuci gambar, rasa teruja sikit.. Kemudian pergi ke kedai DIY dan beli album. Nak simpan gambar kan :)


Bila dah susun semua gambar cantik-cantik, sy simpan di rak buku yang paling hampir. Sebaris dengan buku-buku medic yang dah disusun siap-siap khusus untuk kegunaan final year dan pro exam kelak, insyaAllah. 

Somehow I feel like doing this, and started to feel how it affects my mood. Bila dah mula hambar membaca buku, daripada scroll facebook kadang-kadang sy tukar pada membelek album. 

By doing this, I feel better, happier,

and grateful.


Kehidupan kita memang takkan lari dari masalah dan pengalaman yang pahit.

Benda yang pahit ni walaupun kecil, dia selalu menguasai seluruh perasaan. Macam tergigit buah pelaga waktu makan nasi beriyani. Walaupun nasi beriyani tu sedap dan penuh sepinggan, boleh hilang selera andai tergigit buah kecil ni.

Isn’t it..? hu.


Macam tu juga perjalanan hidup. 

Lepas belek semula gambar-gambar, mula menyedari bahawa Dia telah memberi dengan sangat banyak.

Masih sihat tubuh badan, tidak pula Dia menjadikan kita cacat anggota, berwajah huduh yang luar dari biasa dan tidak juga dijadikan papa kedana. 

Bila tengok gambar raya, tersedar lagi betapa baiknya Allah. Dia memberi sebuah keluarga dan tempat meneduh kasih. Walaupun  ada kelemahan di sana sini, ianya masih lebih daripada mereka yang tiada keluarga dan ibu bapa.

Tengok pula gambar akhawat dan ahli usrah. Tak mungkin dapat dibayangkan bagaimana diri jika tak pernah bersama dengan orang-orang ni. I am not a very religious person since the very beginning, and did not come from a very religious family either. Thus I believe that I am lucky enough to meet them. 

Kemudian batchmates. Buat medic ni ialah antara benda yang pahit dalam hidup, rasanyalah. Hu. Tapi kehadiran kawan-kawan sedikit sebanyak menjadikannya manis dan bermakna. Belajar sama-sama, present SOCA, berlatih OSCE, posting yang bermacam posting. At least we are in this mess together :)

Then the engagement pictures.   

Regardless all the hurdles, tears and difficulties, I am grateful, alhamdulillah.

:')


My cousin's son holding flowers that was later used in hantaran's decorations :)


We never know what would happen in the future. PadaNyalah segala doa dan tawakkal dipanjatkan.

Bukankah kita yang selalu meminta padaNya,

ya Rabbana, 

Hab lana, 

Min azwajina Wa dzurriyyatina,

Qurrata A'yunin

waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama


Ustadh Nouman once explained that in this ayah from the suratul furqan, the term used is 'hablana' (grant us) which is different from the usual term 'atina' (give us). In malay it is translated as 'anugerahkan kami'.

Because it is a very special and meaningful to any person.  

And Qurratu a'yun is a phrase that implicates the tears of joy and happiness. 

" As far as ancient Arab is concerned, two things have to do with coolness of the eyes (qurratu a'yun). The first one is about shedding tears of joy, being so happy that you move to tears, and secondly, it’s about finding refuge, finding some kind of safety.

That means that we should be so happy with our spouse and children, that upon just seeing them, we are moved to tears of happiness. 

It also means that the outside world when you go to work, or for your education, or for whatever reason, the outside world is like a storm. But when you come home, you finally find your refuge; you meet with the coolness of your eyes when you enter the house."
sources


Keep on praying, until He grant us such kind of happiness and refuge,

insyaAllah.







May He grant us,

a heart that never lose hope,

and a soul that never deviate,

in every trial and ease, 

<3




Thursday, June 23, 2016

a tap on the shoulder

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Kira-kira 3 bulan lagi, sebelum memasuki final year.

Final year yang medical student sangat takut dan ditakutkan. Pensyarah selalu pesan, bila dah tahun akhir, kamu tak boleh berlagak sebagai budak mentah lagi. Kena bersikap seperti seorang doktor yang sebenar.


Bertanggungjawab terhadap pesakit,

Ambil tahu apa yang berlaku, follow progress patient properly.

Ambil history dah tak boleh compang-camping macam dulu.

Present case, examine, examine, and examine patients.


Mengenali karakter final year student bukan benda asing sebenarnya. Sudah dua tahun berturut-turut menjadi naqibah untuk final year. Boleh dikatakan, mereka ni ibarat chipsmore. Kejap ada, kejap tak ada. Tapi yang takda tu lebih kerap. 


Asyik oncall, outstation, banyak task etc.


Usrah pun kalau boleh biar simple and concise. Kadang-kadang ambil masa lunch hour saja, tu pun dah cukup bagus. Kemudian, dah namanya final year, bab study mereka power. First time pegang mereka, waktu tu saya baru 3rd year. Budak 3rd year ni, bab belajar tak payah cakap, memang cengeng sikit. Kena marah sikit, nangis. Lepas tu tak pandai macam mana nak study. Blurr memanjang.

Jadi dalam usrah, kadang-kadang kita curahat bab study, mereka yang pujuk. huhu. Apa punya naqibah.


But then we learn to give and take,


Saya share pada mereka tentang islam, mereka juga ajar saya tentang islam, ditambah dengan macam mana nak survive in and out dalam klinikal.

Walaupun susah nak kumpul dan sebagainya, group yang ni special. Sebab dalam group ni eventhough kena jadi naqibah, tapi saya ada banyak kakak. I dont want to be kakak, I need kakak. hu. 


Perhatian. 






Simply said, sebenarnya ada masa kita inginkan perhatian dan and someone who is ready to listen attentively. 


.......................................

Di dalam kelas bersama anak-anak Rohingya tempoh hari, ada masa saya rasa macam nak give up mengajar. Terlalu bising dan nakal tak reti duduk diam. Waktu sesi mengajar doa-doa harian, kami pecahkan mereka dalam group seramai kira-kira 7-8 orang. Tapi budak-budak ni tak mahu bekerjasama dan banyak main. Belum cerita part nak leraikan mereka yang gaduh dan saling pukul memukul lagi. Akhirnya bila dah penat saya duduk dan diam sekejap.

Waktu tengah frust itulah salah sorang budak yang nakal tadi tu datang duduk sebelah, 


"kakak, dengar saya baca doa ni."


Kemudian dia suruh saya ajar mana yang dia tak tahu. Sampai habis. Bila dah selesai, datang budak yang lain pula, buat benda yang sama. Akhirnya boleh pun mengajar mereka, cuma kena pergi one by one.

Waktu sesi mewarna pula, bila disuruh ada yang malas-malas. Tapi bila kita duduk sebelah, tolong pilih warna, tolong kalerkan sikit-sikit, terus laju je dan bersemangat nak buat.

Then baru terfikir, sebenarnya mereka ni bukanlah rebellious sangat. Sekadar mahukan sokongan dan perhatian. They need a tap on their shoulder to keep them going. 







**tepuk bahu sendiri**

Kalau pun dah tiada manusia, Allah ada. He is the most attentive listener. Kadang-kadang kita minta sesuatu dengan sangat pada Allah. And when He grant it, we can feel how Allah give us the 'tap on the shoulder'. 


Happy.

Keep going, keep going, I already give you this. And remember Me. I will give you more.


But then we forget until He stop giving.
Supaya kita kembali semula pada Dia, sebab Dia sayang.


Adakalanya pula, Dia beri apa yang kita minta, tapi tak perfect.
Supaya kita ingat, bahawa semua selain Dia tidak sempurna.
Agar kita tidak memuja makhluk, benda dan dunia.


Thus jangan jadi budak-budak, yang akan tunjuk 'tantrums' bila tak dapat apa yang diinginkan. Lagi banyak kita redha, lebih kurang sesak di dada.


**I'm saying this to myself, sigh**

:'




“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” 
(Narrated by Muslim, 2999).









Thursday, June 9, 2016

pacing forward - IKRAM SISWA

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

It has been quite some time, I've been thinking to write about this. This might be not understandable for some of you, but just give me a chance anyway my dear akhawats <3 

Hope everyone are doing well, at our own place and pacing forward.

Why am I using the word 'pace', not 'running' or meroket whatsoever ^^', is because i thought this is the safest baseline for everybody. 

Thus i meant it for all of us, no matter what our story is. 

Pacing is a small step, but a consistent one. I know that most of us are not consistently running, and almost no human are able to keep running until the end of their life. 'Al Iman yazid wa yanquz' apply to everybody even for the sahabah r.a.

But we should be stepping forward, no matter how slow we are. InsyaAllah.





A few days ago we had our syura for Ikram Siswa. Maybe I never said this to many people, but actually I felt relieved when finally someone else would be chosen as the amirah for our team, the ship that we had rode for so long. 

Some might just know me for these 2 years in ppukm, but for some of you, had known and bear with me for a longer duration. The usual cycle for a leader is 1 year at most. If you hold for too long, you'll be like me., kind of hopeless. hu. There is hikmah in changing leaders, which is to get the new spirit of working, insyaAllah. 

Few years back,

At first, it is very difficult for us to find the track to pace on. So do I. After touched down from Bandung, there are too many things. You need to do this, to do that, to start, to convince, while myself are not yet convinced at that time. Sometimes really I got very tired but you know that you can't stop. Seeing many people started to take a 'break' and vacation made me crazy some more. huhu. 

Just kidding :)

For my dear akhawats UKM or UNPAD based, really I want to get the chance to explain more about our ship, IKRAM siswa. Just to let everyone to know that, for the time being we need it no matter how 'renyah' it is. For us who had been in the usrah for a long time, this is a platform that we can rely when we want to do something. And this platform should be connected with the manhaj that has built, and empowered us. 

Some people would say that, why can't we just do it? Nak buat program, buat je lah. Tak perlu merenyahkan diri dengan persatuan. Tak nak buang waktu dengan benda yang 'tidak muntij'. We think so.

For this, the answer is simple. Kerana kita tak mahu buat Dnt ni sendiri2. Kita tak mahu cuma orang yang ikut usrah je yang dapat buat baik. Jika nak usrah dan tarbiyyah diri sampai lebam sekalipun, silakan. Namun mata harus terbuka dan melihat masyarakat as we are living in this. 

We need to create a platform for the people surrounding us, including our mad'u. Kerja dalam dnt ni bukan terhad pada mesti jadi murobbi, we'll have to widen the jobscope in order to let other peoples join us.

And realize or not, the community need an icon, or a bunch of people to trust on, including us. 





And this is what people should see when they view a group of good people doing da'wah. People who are not merely ajak masuk usrah, but also to deliver islam and encourage people to do good even when they are not committed to jemaah.

What am I explaining is very superficial, but i hope everyone could try to blend it. hu


Then comes the story of responsibilities in every one of us.

What I could say is that, no matter in what position you are being placed in tarbiyyah, there is no levels in Allah's view.  

As a supporter, ajak mengajak
tukang bancuh air,
usrah member,
naqibah,
members of unit,
ketua unit,
leader.

Always belief also that if we are not doing our part, nobodies would. 

Allah will grant us, insyaAllah. 

Lastly, 

i'm thanking everyone to the fullest. 

For bearing with me, not hating me all this while especially to Afiqah, the best company <3, and to everyone who have done their best in syuro. Forgive me if I had talked too much, banyak berselisih pendapat dan sebagainya.hu. Semoga kita ikhlas kerana Allah.

May He forgive and grant each one of us, and keep us on the way to jannah.



p/s:
I've rarely post a picture, 
But here are some, untuk kenangan :)




iOs 16



Pernais 16




** Video pengenalan ISBTR:




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